


Kablooie

by Squirrel_Stone



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgardian Wedding, BAMF Darcy Lewis, Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3221810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squirrel_Stone/pseuds/Squirrel_Stone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How many times can Darcy curse in a single day, and at a wedding no less?</p><p>Also, Thanos is finally coming to get the Tesseract and Loki's head.</p><p>(This is the fic you read after you've lowered your expectations at the end of the tag.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kablooie

Darcy Lewis had been having a great time on Asgard preparing for Thor and Jane’s wedding. As the maid of honor, she made sure Jane ate and slept and did what she needed to (basically, her job description on Earth). She even made a pretty good friend out of Loki. So yes, Darcy had been enjoying her time on Asgard until the wedding reception.

Things were on fire, people were fighting a small band of Chitauri warriors, and Darcy was hiding behind an overturned table from a purple madman. Evidently they were a little upset about not having the Tesseract.

“Don’t worry, this’ll be cleared up in no time,” Steve assured her. “Attacking an event with all the Avengers present? Not the brightest idea.”

Darcy gave him a strange look, questioning his calm demeanor. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” she demanded. “Everything is either exploding or disintegrating! How do you live like this?”

Steve’s eyes widened at the vocal intern and took a step away from her, getting back to the fight.

Taking matters—and a silver platter—into her own hands, Darcy began hitting Chitauri soldiers over their heads as hard as she could. “Worst! Wedding! Ever!” she yelled, rendering a soldier either unconscious or dead.

Darcy took off running after a soldier that had slipped into a hall, hitting it over the head and forcing its attention to her. Thor had briefly mentioned that the hall went to the treasure room or whatever it was, so there was no way Darcy was letting that thing get by.

 _Not the best idea,_ she realized as the soldier growled at her, running after her. Darcy managed to get back into the dining hall before she tripped over a fallen spear, landing on her face at a pair of purple feet.

Every profanity Darcy knew of raced through her mind as she looked up to see Thanos. She was dead. She was so dead. She was deader than the food she had just been eating (and was fighting to come back up her esophagus).

She closed her eyes, expecting death to hit her like a ton of bricks, but instead she felt herself being lifted and put on her feet. Darcy opened one eye to see Thanos removing his hands from her and getting down on one knee, bowing to her. Darcy watched in shock as all the Chitauri soldiers stopped fighting and followed Thanos’s lead, getting on one knee and bowing… to her.

Darcy looked over to Jane, giving her a confused, frightened look. She could barely see Jane mouth the words _what the fuck?_

The intern had no answer, instead just giving her boss a shrug. _I have no idea_ , she mouthed.

Before she could object, her hand was taken by Thanos, he kissing the back of it. “Lady Death, I have longed to see you again,” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Darcy didn’t put a filter on herself this time. “WHAT THE FUCK?”

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what's with this. I just thought of Darcy Lewis as Death and things went out of control from there. So... yay plot bunny!


End file.
